Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Mother’s day off

Mother's day wishes few days back flooded the social networks in an unprecedented level. What percentage of the wishes actually reached her is a different question. Forget speaking against such trend, those who abstain from praising their moms are considered cold villains (to visualize, remember the bad son in films who push his ever loving mom towards a brick wall in rage). I started noticing such messages stuffed with love and gratitude. One tweet read, "There is no place in this world which can prepare food as good as my mom". Another read, "Mom used to prepare me dosa even if I wake her up in odd hours". "She does not know the taste of exquisite dishes prepared by her, as we finish it off in a jiffy”. You get the drift. Almost all the messages praised her culinary talents. Remaining praised her selfless deeds.

The wish floods are quite common in this electronic and market era, and it did not bothered me. What caught my attention is the stereotyping of the mother image and what we remember her for. It is quite obvious that many of the mother's actions are spontaneous and due to the natural instincts all the mammals possess. But the over boil at times by the mother - seem to be forced upon her, and it is like as if she does not have a choice. In fact, she fits the stereotyped mold so effortlessly with immense pride and eagerness.

A very small example with my mother may illustrate my case. Jangiri is her favorite sweet. She loves it. The other day, she eagerly opens the box only to find the last piece left (of course it was emptied by the other members of the family). What does she do? She comes barging to me, and says "See, I have to throw this box away, and this last piece is stopping me from doing it. Take it". She is very careful in not showing even an iota of liking for the last piece. And as many a times, I take it. That might have made her happier than if she had consumed it.

Even if most of us praise only her culinary talents and selfless deeds, we all know how difficult it is to run a family/home without glitches. It is not an easy task. She is out of station for few days and the whole home machinery goes haywire. But, shouldn't those talents be put to better use? What is her contribution beyond the family? By constantly stereotyping her, are we curbing her talents and instincts that could be put to better use? This actually becomes a problem when she becomes dependent on others, and gets serious when she is unable to help others or couldn't add value (getting sick, old age etc.). She suddenly feels herself as a burden to others. Even her small advice need to be heard and acted upon, otherwise imagines we are ignoring her. Most of the clashes with daughter in law (or son in law) have their roots in this over dependency and selfless love on the only thing she cares for - the son (or daughter). I feel this will not happen if they have an interest/career of their own, in addition to selflessly helping their wards.

Things are changing now with women starting to concentrate on their talents and likings. But with the constant stereo typing and expectations forced upon her, we are still slowing her off. My mother is a very good reader, but rarely spends time in reading, in order to cater to our needs. She feels mightily guilty if she sits for few more pages reading an interesting book resulting in slight delay in preparing dinner. I am not against highlighting this kind of selfless living through mother's day wishes, but I really do not want that to strengthen the stereotypes already present in our minds. This might slow her down, and create guilt for following her interests.

All I am asking is, Mom, please take at least one half of Jangiri, hand me over the other half. That makes me even happier!

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Why I liked gravity?

Matt Kowalski did not returned. But if he had indeed returned as in Ryan’s dream, the movie might have become sleazy. I really wished he was back though.

The dream sequence was so real. I used to get such dreams during nightmare situations. It is sub conscious’ effort to give us the few minutes of happiness and some hope about ‘what’s ahead?’

Obvious symbolism in the movie about motherhood. Is the movie one huge expression of a mother’s struggle to bring her child to the world?

Matt’s ‘Sun over the Ganges’ remark. I know its stupid considering Matt’s situation, but I couldn't help it.

Ed Harris — Apollo 13 connection. What is the retirement policy of Houston ground control?

Ryan escapes using Russian and Chinese ‘products’, kind of rare to see such acknowledgement in Hollywood movies ☺

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Shift Alt Delete

It is amusing that the tenants always know when its time - to start looking for a new home and get things packing . Land lord's reaction towards the tenants change gradually. Rents suddenly increase; hardened faces and lesser greetings; water runs out in the overhead tank sooner, and it stays that way for some time; that is, motor will not be turned on for the refill (motor is always the key control and the most lethal attacks of the master); apparently our garbage lies strewn in the entrance and causes hardship to others.. and more such imaginative complaints. But we as the tenants always catch these signals earlier and effectively too, due to to the years of training the owners provided.

But it is not easy to shift a house. So the Mr.Tenant tries as much as possible to postpone the inevitable, by being extra polite. Like that of the employees to their manager when the rumors about layoffs are abound. But he knows, he cannot stop the inevitable, and slowly start the arduous process of looking for a new rented accommodation. First such step is to send out teasers to the immediate friends circle. Next is to keep open the eyes and ears for anything that is even remotely connected to a place available for rent. Unfortunately, the rents would have skyrocketed from the last time the move was made, so the new place would be further far off from the city limits thus resulting in longer travel for the entire family.

Then happens the actual task of packing and moving. Calling packers and movers was still not a choice known to the tenant, so the entire family join hands in implementing the impossible. After a worn out hard work, the family will rush off as it would be already late in packing things,

All the things will be left unpacked and only the essentials will be coming out of their boxes - intelligently placed by the ever thinking mother. But it will be days to get to the things we need and it is almost impossible to find anything at all; and a thing that they thought long lost will magically show up.

But the sad thing happens only the next day. While returning from the place of work, the tenant inadvertently returns to the old home and stop half way. And that is when it really hits them - how much the place was loved that is not really theirs.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

My Tweets - 2

I am using books as backup when I am unable to use computer #Books #Addiction 

It is difficult to be happy for boost in Congress's popularity; It is difficult to be not happy for slide in that of BJP's #Politics

Dil Se is probably Rahman's best! #DilSeTheme #DilSe

Norway child welfare society's methods to keep itself occupied is not very sound #CWS #NorwayCWS

Women are different or not; but all men are same #Feminism

A sufficient Salary is never reachable

Small gods are our forefathers. Institutionalized gods are probably kings #Atheism #IndianGods


Thursday, November 25, 2010

Butterfly Effect

A farmer committed suicide today afternoon.

Yesterday, a fat man hit a fat dog with a fat stone, for peeing on his wall. The dog ran hollering back to its master, a small boy. The boy broke an expensive item, as a revolt in support of the dog's plight.

This resulted in some record breaking bashing by his mother. She gave tired cries at the end, frustrated. At this point, unfortunately, the father entered home, yelling at the mother, 'You are yet to prepare coffee? Don't you know it is time?'. This led to some forgettable events, and no one slept that night.

Next day i.e today morning, without 'break'ing the 'fast', the bank manager father left to his office. He dismissed all the farm loan waivers, new loan requests tirelessly that came to his attention.

A farmer committed suicide today afternoon.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

My Tweets-1

I translated some of the tweets I published in my mother tongue, Tamil. Technically, this is my first post for Commixture. Hope you all like it!

I hate to sleep at noon. It is for this I sleep at night and wake up before 1PM :)

As far as I know, lovers get married first. With someone else!

My dream is trying its level best to make me pee in bed #bladderfull #inception

Salary and hard disk size are same. Both are never adequate!

Is it just a co-incidence that we get so many holidays during rainy season and left writhing without one in summer? 

Monday, September 8, 2008

The one where it all began

I have two resolutions.

1. To write blogs regularly (Which is not possible)
2. To keep it as crisp as possible (Which is not possible)

Topics? as usual, covering wide gamut of topics...